Thy Word is a swift kick unto my pants

Did you know that if you type "the Bible is" in the google search bar, the first suggestion is "b*llsh*t"? (You do now.)

Well, they don't use the asterisks, but you get the picture. When I stop and think about that, it breaks my heart. One of my deepest desires is to help others draw closer to Christ, and reading the Word of God is one of the best ways to get to know Him. One of my favorite descriptions of the Bible is found in Hebrews 4. 

12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. 

Kind of makes you feel uncomfortable, right? Like, "Sheesh, could I have a little privacy here? I'd prefer to keep those thoughts and attitudes to myself, thank you very much." So I guess I can understand why many folks aren't exactly eager to read it. 

Getting to know God reminds me of getting to know a person, though. Conversation is usually a little awkward at first, or at the least forced. We don't want to lay our souls bare before someone we've only just met (and not just because they'll think we're crazy if we do). Gradually we open up more and more, and eventually it becomes a relief to do so. We enjoy the freedom that comes with sharing and the intimacy of being known. It's still unpleasant to be completely honest at times, but it's good for us like medicine.

That's what a relationship with God is like, and that includes reading what He has to say in the Word. Several days ago I had a rather painful sword-piercing experience while reading in the Psalms. (Yep, still reading through them if you saw my last post.) This time it was Psalm 63:3-5 that provided a rather swift kick in the pants.

3 Because your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
4 Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.

In the words of Princess Anna, "Wait, what?" 

I had to stop reading for a while and think about that last verse, especially the phrase I emphasized. It seemed to echo in my mind. My soul shall be satisfied. That one hit me right between the soul and the spirit.  

As a perfectionist, satisfaction can be hard to come by. I seem to constantly focus on what could be better, which is sometimes good, but not usually in the way I do it. If I had to name my most hypocritical parenting behavior, it would be that I'm constantly telling my children to stop whining about what they don't have and be thankful for what they do have.  

Do I follow my own advice? Sometimes I trick myself into thinking I do because I'm not typically a complainer. I don't post a lot of whiny facebook updates or (usually) go on and on to others about how difficult my life is. That means I'm doing pretty good, right? Well, not when it comes to that whole soul being laid bare thing. Not if I want to hold myself up to the standard of "my soul shall be satisfied." 

If I were to be honest, I would have to admit that I'm a pretty critical person, even if that criticism is most often directed toward my immediate family. I have rather lofty expectations for myself, my husband, and my children. I often overlook our positives in my quest to root out all of our flaws. I often forget to express gratitude or praise for these dear ones in my efforts to help them grow and improve. (Yeah, you thought I was a better mom than I actually am, didn't you?)

Lately, I have been even more discontent than usual. I'm tired of moving! Moving once was difficult enough, but then I made some great friends and had to move away from them again. (Curse you, Crossbridge friends, for making me feel so loved!) In all honesty, I'm lonely here, and I'm finding it difficult to make connections. I've been praying about it a lot and feeling much too sorry for myself.  I justify my self-pity with the knowledge that soon I'll have some friends to share life with, and then I'll be joyful again.

Sigh. Sometimes I feel like I don't ever learn from the past. 

No, Beka, you fool. Friends will not satisfy. Perfection won't either (if there were such a thing). Grateful, self-motivated children will not. A husband who takes out the trash and always remembers what I tell him will not. Nothing in my entire life that I ever thought would satisfy me did, save the living water of Jesus Christ. 

So why do I thirst again? Well, I've been lied to, just like we all have. I've been told by the father of lies and my own sinful flesh that if I only had this, then I would be satisfied. 

News flash: Once you get whatever "this" is, you'll only find something else that you need. Jesus is the only one who can give us lasting joy and peace.

If this is something you struggle with, don't be discouraged. We all have to be reminded of the truth from time to time.  Right after those verses about God's Word piercing us and laying us bare, we find hope in Jesus. 

15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet He did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

I needed my kick in the pants, and I got it. Now I need the mercy and grace of a God who understands my weakness to help me say in my time of need, "My soul shall be satisfied."

And He will give it. 

Our new husband vs. wife challenge!!

I’m a competitive girl. It doesn’t really matter what the game is. In the least bit whatsoever.

It can be, “Hey, let’s race to the car.” You better believe I’m gonna be hauling my butt to that car.

It can be a fun, easygoing, get-to-know-you game with a small group. I will absolutely keep a casual smile on my face while everything in me is fighting to come out on top of that seemingly insignificant challenge.

Heck, it can even be Candyland with the kiddos. Some exceptions are made for under five-year-olds, but only because it’s not really fun to beat them anyway. The competition is what makes the thrill of victory so satisfying.

Games at family gatherings invoke the strongest feelings of all. Somehow beating the ones we love the most just makes winning that much sweeter. What are families for if not to bring on some cutthroat competition?

It’s not even that I have to win. Once upon a time, losing might have involved accusations of cheating, throwing of pieces, giving the silent treatment, etc. Not anymore, though. I genuinely just enjoy the fun of the game. I like to be challenged, because it brings out my best effort.

This past Sunday, my pastor preached on challenges that we face in our lives. His point was that they force us to grow stronger in ways that everyday life allow us to remain soft. They grow our faith and show us what God can make us capable of. So naturally, what I took away from his message is that I need to challenge my husband to regular competitions!

Probably not what my pastor had in my mind, but after giving it a lot of thought, that was the application that I decided upon for my own life. In reality, I actually came up with the idea to challenge myself. My hubby Isaiah is not exactly the gamer that I am, though he does enjoy some friendly competition. As I was pondering the implications of the truth that challenges help us grow, and also considering my own constant desire for growth, I decided that a little challenge might be just what both of us needed.

And thus, the Weekly Wedded Challenge was born. (I considered Husband vs. Wife Deathmatch, but it didn’t have the same ring to it.)

There’s not a whole lot to the Weekly Wedded Challenge, but I’ve already established that all I need is a smidge of competition to move my butt into action. At the start of every week, Isaiah and I will issue each other a new challenge. Here are the rules. (Every serious gamer needs rules.)

1. The challenge can be big or small, but it has to be completable during the one week time frame. (e.g. Climbing Mt. Everest or losing thirty pounds are not acceptable goals.) 

2. The point of the challenge should be to help the other spouse grow in an area where they are weaker. For example, exercising daily would be a great goal for lazy old me, but Isaiah already does that, so it wouldn’t help him grow. (Tasks that are motivated by selfishness on the part of the task giver are also prohibited, such as pawning off all your own responsibilities.)

3. Both parties must agree that the tasks are reasonable and helpful.

4. No excuses. The tasks are practical and agreed upon ahead of time, so a “busy week” or something to that effect is not an acceptable reason to shirk on their completion.

5. Whoever completes their challenge will be the recipient of a back and/or foot massage. (And not from Jo Jo's Asian Massage .) The reward may change in the future, but for now our budget/time constraints don’t allow for anything too crazy. Plus, that’s really not the point of the challenge, merely an extra perk.

Just to give an actual example, my goal for him this week is to read Corrie ten Boom’s “The Hiding Place.” (It’s only about 200 pages long.) His goal for me was to get rid of everything in our bedroom that we don’t use. The fact that neither of us were crazy about our goal is a sign that we chose some good ‘uns. He doesn’t read very often (unless you count Drudge Report), and I feel overwhelmed and shut down when I think about organizing and keeping our children alive at the same time.

I have high hopes for this new tradition of ours. It’s not because the challenge is some radical new life-changing idea, but rather the opposite. I don’t do well with radical changes. Not because I don’t like them, but just because I don’t stick to them. Small, step-by-step changes are much more helpful for me. I need habits and schedules to get goals accomplished. Which is, um, usually why I don’t accomplish many of them.

Turning our goals into a competition is helpful not only because we want to beat each other, but also because we can hold each other accountable throughout the week. I will always know at least one thing that he's trying to accomplish over the next seven days. Not to mention we can motivate each other via trash talk and the like.

Isaiah and I have talked about getting better at teamwork for years. We’re a great match in a lot of ways, but usually working in conjunction is not one of them. I forget to tell him things until the last second, and he forgets to tell me pretty much everything except for how much money is in our bank account. The challenge is a way to include each other in goals, especially since it’s often painfully obvious in what ways the other needs to improve. We were meant to be an encouragement and help to each other. This is just one more way for us to grow together. Iron sharpens iron, after all.  

So it's week one, and he’s already a third of the way through the book. Meanwhile, I have yet to throw away a scrap of paper. But I’m not worried. I’ve got all week to procrastinate.

Game on!!!