One of THOSE days

Yesterday had to have lasted more than 24 hours. Shew.

It started out OK, as far as early mornings go. The real trouble began while walking out the door to take the kids to school. I have a checklist that I repeat aloud every time I leave the house. It's not a long one- just three simple words.

Wallet. Phone. Keys.

I certainly don't always leave the house completely prepared for whatever will come my way. Oft forgotten are grocery lists, library books that need returned, the plastic grocery bags that have been accumulating for three years that I was certain I would remember to bring along this time, and pretty much anything that's not on my three word checklist. But hey, at least I know with those three things I'll be mostly good to go.

Yesterday morning, I was confident that I was indeed good to go. With keys in hand, I locked the door leading into the garage and closed it behind me. All the kiddos were ready to go in the van, and we were right on schedule. It wasn't until I attempted to put my key in the ignition that I realized the problem.

My brother-in-law left his keys at my house because their vehicle is in my driveway while they're on vacation. I grabbed THE WRONG SET. Not only could I not start the van, but I also could not get back into my house to get the correct keys. In my defense, both sets are approximately the same size and contain a prominent black Honda key. In retrospect, sitting them where my own keys normally go was probably not a great idea.

I considered just walking the kids to school, but we live about two miles away. OK, I'll admit it. That wasn't my real hesitation. I was still in my pajamas and was not interested in showing them off to the whole neighborhood. At least I had my phone, thanks to my trusty checklist.

I called my hubby and let him know the situation. My description went a little something like, "I'm hanging out in the garage with the children, trying unsuccessfully to pull a MacGyver. Please send a rescue party."

Those of you with more common sense than myself have probably already figured out a solution to my quandary. Isaiah did, while I focused all my attention on door locks, a strand of wire, and an empty Subway gift card.

Duh. I had my brother-in-law's keys and SUV. I am the dumbest smart person I know. We could have driven ourselves to the school immediately and saved myself the embarrassment of having to walk into the school office in my pajamas to fill out the tardy slips. (And then having to walk my daughter to her classroom, all the way at the other side.)

I'll tell you one thing. It was a good opportunity to prove what I'm always telling my self-centered preteen. Embarrassment is a choice. He nearly broke down in tears when I insisted that I had to walk him into the front office, but I held my head high. I'd like to think I rocked those brown plaid hand-me-down men's pajama pants and lingering bedhead.

Once the kids were in their proper places, I had to make the hour roundtrip drive to Isaiah's work to get his keys. Note to self: hide a spare key in the garage. Ordinarily, I would have enjoyed the opportunity to see him at work, but Wednesdays are library days. Preschool story time (my sweet girl's favorite activity of the week) started at 10:15, and the clock was ticking. I rushed home, grabbed some more appropriate clothing for each of us, threw my clearly-needing-a-shower hair back, and raced off to story time. We managed to catch "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" and participate in walking our caterpillar fingers up our tree branch arms before they wrapped it up for the day. Mission: not quite accomplished.

Normally we walk leisurely around the library after story time, choosing some new books and movies for the week. (Well, leisurely for the children anyway. I have to make sure my three-year-old isn't yelling and/or careening wildly through the aisles.) Today we had to keep ourselves in fast forward, though. The pest control guy would be at our house in less than half an hour, so we grabbed just a few new things and rushed out the door (after a brief skirmish about who would get to remove the DVDs from their security case).

Why was the pest control guy coming, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

A week ago, we heard a loud banging sound at the back of the house as we were trying to fall asleep. Isaiah grabbed the machete and headed for the back patio while I stealthily crept across the floor to peek out the curtains on our glass door. Not seeing anything, I opted against loading the shotgun, but Isaiah still inspected everywhere out back just to be safe. Meanwhile, I could still hear the banging inside.

Turns out there was (is?) a raccoon stuck in our wall. We called a pest control guy the next day, but our landlord decided to go with a different pest control company. (And I don't blame him. $3,800 is a big price difference!) At any rate, they were finally supposed to take care of the problem. He arrived just after we pulled into the driveway. Shew! Unfortunately, he only gave an estimate for the future work, but what's one more night with our little attic friends?

I couldn't get my usual Wednesday grocery shopping done because of all the atypical events of the day, but at least I was able to catch up on a couple things at home that I'd been needing to do. Still, the afternoon passed by in a blur, a large chunk of it being taken up with a back and forth email conversation with my daughter's teacher. Apparently she was accused of a fairly serious offense (in my book anyway) by another classmate, which I politely disputed. 

How do I know that this boy was in the wrong? Am I just another naive parent who refuses to believe their child would misbehave?

Um, no. The "offense" described was bringing in a picture of a nude woman that her sister had drawn. (The teacher didn't see it, but she took the word of the little boy because my non-confrontational girl didn't dispute it and actually apologized for it.) I guess that kid didn't realize that this alleged sister is only five years old and draws stick people. Either that, or he is one easily offended kid. Cut her some slack- it's hard to draw clothes on those skinny stick bodies! At any rate, she could no more draw a "nude woman" than I could go three hours without eating some chocolate. 

After getting all that straightened out, it was time to get everyone ready for church. It was an easy, cheesy, blue box dinner for us last night, but we still barely made it on time. I managed to lose my nine-year-old on the way inside, but that crisis was averted before too long. He was just taking a ridiculously long time retying his shoes and searching for his AWANA shirt that he had assumed was in the van, but was in fact hanging in his closet at home. 

Church was mostly great. Free childcare, adult conversation, and currently a study on Biblical parenting. Aside from kicking myself over things I know I should be doing with my kids, I was really enjoying the study.

Before we got to the group discussion part anyway. In a room full of parents, everyone is going to have some parenting problem stories, and the stories were flowing. That was when I lost all focus and could do nothing but think about Brian Regan's me monster routine. If you haven't seen it before, take a few minutes and watch. (Or at least the first thirty seconds to understand what I'm talking about.)

There wasn't really a genuine me monster in the room, but the chaotic conversation brought this to mind. Whenever situations like this take place, I find myself desiring an immediate escape. It's not that I don't appreciate hearing other people's stories- I love stories. I guess it's just the poor communication in these contexts that grates on my nerves. I guess my over-communicative self appreciates a little more structure, and this is a prime example.

Whatever. It's not a big deal, just a minor annoyance. I didn't come to be the me monster myself. Besides, I amused myself by daydreaming about Brian Regan doing this routine.

"Me, me, me, me!!!"

Hopefully I didn't have a stupid grin on my face at an inappropriate time during the tales of parenting woes. At least I had a good story to tell Isaiah later, who was participating in a different study. 

And hopefully, the story of my entire day was entertaining as well. We went home last night, put the kiddos to bed, and enjoyed watching a movie just the two of us. We even managed to sleep through the night without hearing our furry intruders.

I do realize that my day wasn't really that bad. Just hectic, but what else is new? Hectic is more of a norm for most of us these days. Nothing tragic or even remotely sad took place. Honestly, I really enjoyed yesterday.

A little laughter, self-deprecation, and perspective go a long way. Would that I could always have such a positive attitude!

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

Snarky facebook response FTW!

**Anyone is welcome to read this post, but please note that the criticisms herein are directed at the church alone. I Corinthians describes the church as the body of Christ, and it is my desire that we take this imagery to heart.** 

What comes to mind when you see the following two memes?

My guess is that your initial response depends on how you feel about homeschool versus public school. As a general rule, one's background will determine what they find abrasive and what simply rolls off their back. In my opinion, both of these examples are broad generalizations and somewhat rude.

I really don't take this type of thing too seriously, but I often wonder why Christians participate in these petty jabs. We are constantly attacking each other (and the general populace) in public forums. The barbs aren't limited to memes. You can take your pick from status updates, blog posts, tweets, completely unrelated news article comments, and more!

The fact is, this disunity spreads much wider than the realm of schooling options. Christians are unfortunately really fantastic at picking fights and exploiting weaknesses. So fantastic that you can find various memes about that, too. 

We're supposed to be known by our love, or at least that's what Jesus said a long, long time ago. I'd say we're better known for our hypocrisy and bickering.

I am absolutely not inferring that we should turn a blind eye to real problems and sing Kumbaya together. I'm simply saying that the internet is not a proper place for discussion. Maybe private messages, but even those can be easily misinterpreted. 

I think it just boils down to the fact that there is a time and place for everything. A private conversation is the time for calling someone out on a point of contention, not a passive aggressive (or just plain old aggressive) status update. 

If there is a genuine sin problem in a fellow believer's life, the most loving thing you can do for them is to hold them accountable. The wounds of a friend are faithful and beneficial. Snarky comments and pointed remarks? Not so much.  

If you're genuinely concerned about someone, sit down and have a conversation with them. Listen to them. Share Scripture with them. Get them the help they need to put a stop to whatever the problem is. We were meant to bear each other's burdens. We were meant to stir each other up toward love and good works, and we were meant to do so after removing our own beams.

If the issue is just a personal preference, like schooling choices for instance, then try considering the matter from the other person's perspective. Every single day, committed followers of Jesus Christ look at the same Scripture, pray to the same God, and come to different conclusions. Maybe that's because God actually prefers it that way. We are to be the light of the world in every realm, and that means we'll have to be involved in different realms.

Sometimes there will actually be a better choice, and that's why it is so important to not always spend our time with people who agree with us on ever issue. Iron sharpens iron. We have an opportunity to speak respectfully and still debate each other on important issues. On my husband's side of the family, every holiday inevitably results in one such debate (or several!) I must confess that I love it, and I love having friends that are willing to not only disagree but to discuss with me our differences of opinion. Growth only results from challenges. 

I know it's a daunting task, but these sorts of conversations also need to be done in humility. Philippians 2:3 instructs us to think of others as better than ourselves. Something tells me that includes their convictions as well. It's so damaging to our fellow believers when we assume that we've put more thought/prayer/etc. into our course of action than they have. 

James 3 has some good things to say on the topic as well. If we truly have the desire to impart wisdom to others, then we need to check our motives. Wisdom from God is "pure, peacable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy." 

My goodness. That list puts me to shame! Especially those willing to yield and without hypocrisy parts. My prayer is that God would continue to shape me into someone who approaches conflict in that way. My prayer is that the body of Christ as a whole would do the same.

I'm not saying don't ever post another meme. There are some pretty great ones out there.

Those are all goofball ones, but I'm not implying that we are forbidden from sharing a meaningful one. I'm not saying to tiptoe around the truth. Really, I'm not even saying not to poke fun at people, as long as you're poking fun at the group that you yourself are a part of. I guess I'm just issuing a plea to all Christians to think about the message you're sending to the rest of the world via the internet. 

I think we could use a lot less internet confrontation, and a lot more one-on-one tough love conversations. The medium of online communication is just desperately lacking in so very many ways.

So let's all use some discernment. Count the cost. Examine our motives. Consider more effective options. Reflect on how this reflects on the unity of one body. The world is watching us, and they will know us by our love. 

Thy Word is a swift kick unto my pants

Did you know that if you type "the Bible is" in the google search bar, the first suggestion is "b*llsh*t"? (You do now.)

Well, they don't use the asterisks, but you get the picture. When I stop and think about that, it breaks my heart. One of my deepest desires is to help others draw closer to Christ, and reading the Word of God is one of the best ways to get to know Him. One of my favorite descriptions of the Bible is found in Hebrews 4. 

12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. 

Kind of makes you feel uncomfortable, right? Like, "Sheesh, could I have a little privacy here? I'd prefer to keep those thoughts and attitudes to myself, thank you very much." So I guess I can understand why many folks aren't exactly eager to read it. 

Getting to know God reminds me of getting to know a person, though. Conversation is usually a little awkward at first, or at the least forced. We don't want to lay our souls bare before someone we've only just met (and not just because they'll think we're crazy if we do). Gradually we open up more and more, and eventually it becomes a relief to do so. We enjoy the freedom that comes with sharing and the intimacy of being known. It's still unpleasant to be completely honest at times, but it's good for us like medicine.

That's what a relationship with God is like, and that includes reading what He has to say in the Word. Several days ago I had a rather painful sword-piercing experience while reading in the Psalms. (Yep, still reading through them if you saw my last post.) This time it was Psalm 63:3-5 that provided a rather swift kick in the pants.

3 Because your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
4 Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.

In the words of Princess Anna, "Wait, what?" 

I had to stop reading for a while and think about that last verse, especially the phrase I emphasized. It seemed to echo in my mind. My soul shall be satisfied. That one hit me right between the soul and the spirit.  

As a perfectionist, satisfaction can be hard to come by. I seem to constantly focus on what could be better, which is sometimes good, but not usually in the way I do it. If I had to name my most hypocritical parenting behavior, it would be that I'm constantly telling my children to stop whining about what they don't have and be thankful for what they do have.  

Do I follow my own advice? Sometimes I trick myself into thinking I do because I'm not typically a complainer. I don't post a lot of whiny facebook updates or (usually) go on and on to others about how difficult my life is. That means I'm doing pretty good, right? Well, not when it comes to that whole soul being laid bare thing. Not if I want to hold myself up to the standard of "my soul shall be satisfied." 

If I were to be honest, I would have to admit that I'm a pretty critical person, even if that criticism is most often directed toward my immediate family. I have rather lofty expectations for myself, my husband, and my children. I often overlook our positives in my quest to root out all of our flaws. I often forget to express gratitude or praise for these dear ones in my efforts to help them grow and improve. (Yeah, you thought I was a better mom than I actually am, didn't you?)

Lately, I have been even more discontent than usual. I'm tired of moving! Moving once was difficult enough, but then I made some great friends and had to move away from them again. (Curse you, Crossbridge friends, for making me feel so loved!) In all honesty, I'm lonely here, and I'm finding it difficult to make connections. I've been praying about it a lot and feeling much too sorry for myself.  I justify my self-pity with the knowledge that soon I'll have some friends to share life with, and then I'll be joyful again.

Sigh. Sometimes I feel like I don't ever learn from the past. 

No, Beka, you fool. Friends will not satisfy. Perfection won't either (if there were such a thing). Grateful, self-motivated children will not. A husband who takes out the trash and always remembers what I tell him will not. Nothing in my entire life that I ever thought would satisfy me did, save the living water of Jesus Christ. 

So why do I thirst again? Well, I've been lied to, just like we all have. I've been told by the father of lies and my own sinful flesh that if I only had this, then I would be satisfied. 

News flash: Once you get whatever "this" is, you'll only find something else that you need. Jesus is the only one who can give us lasting joy and peace.

If this is something you struggle with, don't be discouraged. We all have to be reminded of the truth from time to time.  Right after those verses about God's Word piercing us and laying us bare, we find hope in Jesus. 

15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet He did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

I needed my kick in the pants, and I got it. Now I need the mercy and grace of a God who understands my weakness to help me say in my time of need, "My soul shall be satisfied."

And He will give it.