Reflections on family

My six-year-old is such a little priss, so it came as no surprise to me that she asked to wear some of my jewelry yesterday morning. (Poor thing only has about six things to choose from.) I didn’t pay attention to what she had chosen until the afternoon, when I saw my ring slip off her finger. She had selected a ring that belonged to my Great Aunt Peg.

Note to self: Pay better attention to what my daughter is borrowing.

Naturally I scooped up the ring and placed it on my own finger, and I was grateful not only that she hadn’t lost it outside during playtime, but also for the memories that flooded back when I thought about its former owner.

My favorite memory will always be the time she took my sisters and I out to eat at The Rookwood in Cincinnati. It wasn’t so much the food as the death-defying car ride to the restaurant that remains vivid, complete with a mid-street, illegal U-turn. Good times. 

I loved Ohio visits to see Peg and Moni, Peg's mom and my great grandmother. We’d hit up the Big Boy, Skyline, and White Castle every time. Later we'd top it off with some UDF or Busken cookies.

(Why do so many of my favorite memories revolve around food?)

The picture at the right is from one such Ohio visit. This is a large chunk of the fam on my mom's side, though not quite all of us. In addition to our food favorites, we also spent some time at the Cincinnati Zoo, a butterfly observatory, the Ohio River, and Moni's house. I sure loved spending time with this crazy bunch. I couldn't recount many specific memories from the trip, but I remember it was fun! I'm sure it helped that my little buddy Hunter was there.

In later years, I simply remember sitting and talking with Peg. She loved to hear about how I was doing, and what the kids had been up to. And she loved it when I sent her pictures to see how they were growing. I miss Aunt Peg. I suppose we all take others for granted at times, but I know for certain that I wish I would have kept in touch with her better than I did.

After she passed away, the albums that I sent her of our ever-expanding family were returned to me. I remember sitting in her room at the retirement community, flipping through the pages. The family trickled through to organize her things and gather their own mementos. I felt so solemn in those moments, reflecting on the life she had lived. Solemn but also nauseous, because I was pregnant with my little man that she never did get to meet. Funny how our temporal circumstances can distract us from being fully engaged in the moment in which we wish to participate. How fickle we are.

Of course my final memory of Peg is her funeral. I don’t know that I’ll ever grow accustomed to seeing the body of a loved one in a box. It’s not really them that I see- just the shell of the person they were. And yet, so many good times came to mind as I stood there for one last gaze. One last look at a face I’ll never see again here on earth. 

Funerals are humbling events. They juxtapose joy and sorrow, and somehow both are appropriate. We celebrate the one we had, and we mourn that we couldn’t keep them.

I enjoyed reminiscing about Peg with my family on that trip. Some of our recorded anecdotes were read aloud at the funeral, and we all laughed together. Special memories were shared as well, tears were shed, and we commemorated her life that day. 

I shed a few more tears as I think of dear Peg again. I can still picture her smiling face and hear her bursts of laughter. Treasures that can never be taken away. That’s what memories are, really. Treasures of a different sort than the world typically searches after. But what wonderful gifts they are.

So I’m feeling pretty thankful today, even amidst the tears. Thankful for this reminder of Peg, and thankful for so many other precious times that I’ve shared with my family. We’ve gone through ups and downs, laughter and tears, peace and strife, special activities and lazy days, distance and intimacy, blow-ups and apologies, and all the stuff of this life. 

Our time has spanned from my days at the kiddie table to my graduation to sitting with the adults. Of course, these days, we don't all fit at one table anymore. Not to mention I have to spend a good deal of the time checking up on my kiddos anyway. Making sure they're not trashing my cousins' rooms and ruining their keepsakes, you know, just hypothetically speaking. And though I don't get to see some as often as others, we always pick up right where we left off.

We have shared this life together, sometimes much to our chagrin. Family is funny that way. But my goodness, I wouldn’t trade them for the world. They have shaped me and shape me still. I look forward to every priceless minute I get to spend with them. They're stuck with me, and for that I am grateful. 

**Disclaimer** These pictures don't even come close to including my entire family, just those who were usually around while I spent time with Peg. My reflections on family still include the rest of you as well!!