Tuesday, February 11, 2014

If I could just control everything...

 
Today has indeed been a discouraging day. Is there anything more frustrating than a situation that’s out of your control?! Part of me wants to scream at the top of my lungs, and another part of me wants to bury my face in a pillow and cry.
Six years ago, my husband and I took a step of faith (or possibly naïveté) and moved to another area without selling our home. We were so convinced that God would provide a buyer in no time. There was never a doubt in our minds that we might not be making the right decision.
Fast forward to today. Six years and three selling attempts later, I sit in desperation, wondering what in the world we can possibly do to get that stinking house sold already! (Short of burning that sucker to the ground.) It’s not that we can’t do anything at all to help in the process, but ultimately we can’t force anyone to buy our home. (Unfortunately.)
In truth, desperation is not a good word to use. I’m not without hope. And really when I start to compare my problem with the truly significant ones of others, it seems pretty inconsequential. But let’s be honest- sometimes even that truth doesn’t help the frustration go away. I want our six-year problem solved, and I want it solved NOW!!
So what does one do in times like this? Aside from whining and venting about it. Inevitably, I make those poorer choices first, and then I turn to the healer of my soul. I take refuge in what I know to be true.
·         Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”( I Pet. 5:7) Despite the fact that it’s not usually my first choice, it is always a marvelous and intimate experience to pour my heart out to God. Even my closest earthly friends can’t compare. Somehow he never grows tired of hearing about the same old problems that I’m facing. He listens because he cares, and he knows that he designed me in such a way that I need to pour my heart out to him. I need to surrender my burdens, and he is more than capable of bearing them.   
 
·         “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matt. 6:34) Sometimes the best action to take is really a non-action. Stop stressing about it! Easier said than done, but I know from past experience that it’s not impossible. Worrying does not, I repeat, does not improve the situation.
 
·          “…but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead.” (Phil. 3:13b) On a similar note, I also need not worry about the past. Honestly, I have no idea if we made the right decision initially, but I do know that there’s no way to go back and change it.  I’ve got to be honest with myself and admit that beating myself up about past decisions never solves the problem (or helps in any way whatsoever.) So when those self-condemning thoughts arise, I literally have to tell myself, “These thoughts are not helpful. They’re hurting me and my family. I’m not going to entertain them.” And then I change the subject. (On good days.)
 
·         “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Rom. 8:28) Don’t dismiss this as glib just because so many people have taken it out of context! One of the hardest lessons for me to learn throughout my life has been that God working things together for my good does NOT look like what I want it to look like. (If I’d bothered to study that chapter further, I may have saved myself some heartache.) “My good” is not the equivalent of God’s stamp of approval on the plans I’ve made for myself. Sometimes (often times) it’s the polar opposite of what I want. But I know, deep down, that God’s plans will draw me closer to Him and teach me lessons I didn’t realize I needed to learn. Sigh. I know that does not sound fun, but I also know that I’ll be grateful for it in the end.
 
·         “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Rom. 12:2) It sure would be nice if my mind just renewed automatically. Since that’s not an option, I really have to make this a priority by putting time and effort into maintaining a close relationship with God. (Women especially put much thought and effort into improving our marriage relationship, but in reality, many of us could stand to focus on our relationship with God first.) Praying and meditating on Scripture seem like such easy tasks, but somehow they often get pushed to the back burner. And yet, life is always easier when I continue to give precedence to these disciplines. Or at least I get through the chaos easier. There’s a big difference. If I want to fight the stress and negative thoughts, then I have to have my mind in the right place to begin with.
 
God is faithful. He really is. Not only is the Bible full of testimonies to his faithfulness, but so is my own story. He has proven himself time and time again. He will never forsake me, and He fills me up with peace when I surrender all this junk that I’m feeling.
Will the house ever sell? I don’t know. But it really doesn’t matter.
There are countless other situations that I won’t be able to control, so I better get used to them. When situations like this arise, it’s a battle to control my racing thoughts, calm my fears, answer my questions, etc. But it’s not a battle that I have to fight alone. It’s not a battle that I’ll ever win alone. God is here with me in the conflict. I can rest in Him and in his promises.
“Hear my cry, O God; give heed to my prayer. From the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” (Ps. 61:1-2)

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