I’m a competitive girl. It doesn’t really matter what the game is. In the least bit whatsoever.
It can be, “Hey, let’s race to the car.” You better believe I’m gonna be hauling my butt to that car.
It can be a fun, easygoing, get-to-know-you game with a small group. I will absolutely keep a casual smile on my face while everything in me is fighting to come out on top of that seemingly insignificant challenge.
Heck, it can even be Candyland with the kiddos. Some exceptions are made for under five-year-olds, but only because it’s not really fun to beat them anyway. The competition is what makes the thrill of victory so satisfying.
Games at family gatherings invoke the strongest feelings of all. Somehow beating the ones we love the most just makes winning that much sweeter. What are families for if not to bring on some cutthroat competition?
It’s not even that I have to win. Once upon a time, losing might have involved accusations of cheating, throwing of pieces, giving the silent treatment, etc. Not anymore, though. I genuinely just enjoy the fun of the game. I like to be challenged, because it brings out my best effort.
This past Sunday, my pastor preached on challenges that we face in our lives. His point was that they force us to grow stronger in ways that everyday life allow us to remain soft. They grow our faith and show us what God can make us capable of. So naturally, what I took away from his message is that I need to challenge my husband to regular competitions!
Probably not what my pastor had in my mind, but after giving it a lot of thought, that was the application that I decided upon for my own life. In reality, I actually came up with the idea to challenge myself. My hubby Isaiah is not exactly the gamer that I am, though he does enjoy some friendly competition. As I was pondering the implications of the truth that challenges help us grow, and also considering my own constant desire for growth, I decided that a little challenge might be just what both of us needed.
And thus, the Weekly Wedded Challenge was born. (I considered Husband vs. Wife Deathmatch, but it didn’t have the same ring to it.)
There’s not a whole lot to the Weekly Wedded Challenge, but I’ve already established that all I need is a smidge of competition to move my butt into action. At the start of every week, Isaiah and I will issue each other a new challenge. Here are the rules. (Every serious gamer needs rules.)
1. The challenge can be big or small, but it has to be completable during the one week time frame. (e.g. Climbing Mt. Everest or losing thirty pounds are not acceptable goals.)
2. The point of the challenge should be to help the other spouse grow in an area where they are weaker. For example, exercising daily would be a great goal for lazy old me, but Isaiah already does that, so it wouldn’t help him grow. (Tasks that are motivated by selfishness on the part of the task giver are also prohibited, such as pawning off all your own responsibilities.)
3. Both parties must agree that the tasks are reasonable and helpful.
4. No excuses. The tasks are practical and agreed upon ahead of time, so a “busy week” or something to that effect is not an acceptable reason to shirk on their completion.
5. Whoever completes their challenge will be the recipient of a back and/or foot massage. (And not from Jo Jo's Asian Massage .) The reward may change in the future, but for now our budget/time constraints don’t allow for anything too crazy. Plus, that’s really not the point of the challenge, merely an extra perk.
Just to give an actual example, my goal for him this week is to read Corrie ten Boom’s “The Hiding Place.” (It’s only about 200 pages long.) His goal for me was to get rid of everything in our bedroom that we don’t use. The fact that neither of us were crazy about our goal is a sign that we chose some good ‘uns. He doesn’t read very often (unless you count Drudge Report), and I feel overwhelmed and shut down when I think about organizing and keeping our children alive at the same time.
I have high hopes for this new tradition of ours. It’s not because the challenge is some radical new life-changing idea, but rather the opposite. I don’t do well with radical changes. Not because I don’t like them, but just because I don’t stick to them. Small, step-by-step changes are much more helpful for me. I need habits and schedules to get goals accomplished. Which is, um, usually why I don’t accomplish many of them.
Turning our goals into a competition is helpful not only because we want to beat each other, but also because we can hold each other accountable throughout the week. I will always know at least one thing that he's trying to accomplish over the next seven days. Not to mention we can motivate each other via trash talk and the like.
Isaiah and I have talked about getting better at teamwork for years. We’re a great match in a lot of ways, but usually working in conjunction is not one of them. I forget to tell him things until the last second, and he forgets to tell me pretty much everything except for how much money is in our bank account. The challenge is a way to include each other in goals, especially since it’s often painfully obvious in what ways the other needs to improve. We were meant to be an encouragement and help to each other. This is just one more way for us to grow together. Iron sharpens iron, after all.
So it's week one, and he’s already a third of the way through the book. Meanwhile, I have yet to throw away a scrap of paper. But I’m not worried. I’ve got all week to procrastinate.
Game on!!!
