Be the next superhero

This morning I was thinking about a generous compliment that was paid to me a few weeks ago. Kind words have a way of sticking with you like that. Unfortunately, so do harsh ones. We could probably all think of an example of each. And we can probably even recall the joy or pain of the moment.

As someone who enjoys writing, I spend a good deal of time thinking about the impact of words. They don’t seem so powerful all on their lonesome. Split apart a meaningful sentence into individual words, and they don’t quite have the same effect. Even if you consider a single word that might sound powerful, the power it wields is to bring to mind other words or images. 

Take the word “powerful” itself. The image of a bodybuilder immediately pops into my mind. Then a waterfall. Then God. (Ummm, not sure what’s up with that order…) Similar words also come to mind, like omnipotent, dominating, supreme, and muscular. The reason “powerful” sounds powerful is because of what it evokes in us.

Please don’t get bored and stop reading- I promise I’m making a point here. And that point is…

Our words have the power to influence the way another person thinks or ultimately acts. Everything we say has the potential to wound or heal, confuse or clarify, hurt or help. We need to think about how we’re wielding our power.

That doesn’t mean we all need to write or speak eloquently. It doesn’t require a good deal of talent to speak life-giving words to someone. For example, “I really appreciate you picking up those toys off the floor without me asking.” Or on a deeper level, “Thank you so much for the gift. It made me feel loved.” Or on an even deeper level still, “Your constant sacrifices for our family are noticed. We love and appreciate you. Thank you for leading by example.” Simple words to make an eternal impact.

This blog I’m writing is a prime example of how a few straightforward compliments like this can influence a life. In the span of a few months, several people who hold a special place in my heart told me they enjoyed my writing. One friend in particular has provided consistent encouragement in my journalistic endeavors. And many of you readers out there have given positive feedback as well, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you!! I don’t bring this up to pat myself on the back. This blog is nothing special. My point is that these life-giving words gave me the courage to try (and persevere in) something new- something I never knew that I might be good at. 

The note you see here on the left is another great example of a simple phrase that can change someone’s life. This is a note that I put in my daughter’s lunchbox last week. The letters in blue were written by me- three simple words, but they affirm self-worth in a way that few other words can. I love this girl without condition, and I want her to always remember that. 

I meant for this to be a blessing to her, but I had no idea that she would return that blessing to me. I found her response (written in pencil) when I opened her lunchbox to pack it the next morning. (Don’t judge her spelling- she’s only six!) I clipped it on our fridge, right above a picture she drew of us holding hands, so I can continue to be affirmed by her response. She loves me!

And may I just interject here that my eight-year-old son has yet to ever do anything like this. I’m not going to get my hopes up either, because that’s just not his personality. He demonstrates his love more freely in other ways, and it’s going to take a lot of maturing for him to be able to express himself with words. (I pity his future wife already!) 

And just like my kids are different, God made us all with different personalities. Everyone knows someone who verbalizes everything they think, exactly at the moment they think it. And we also know people we seem to have to drag every syllable from. No matter the personality, we all have the power to speak life!

 There were times during my middle/high school years when I exhibited some extreme shyness. I would get embarrassed when people spoke to me, sometimes so much so that I would duck my head, mumble a response, and hope they would go away. (Awwwwkward.) God has truly changed who I am in that respect. That’s not to say that I’m Miss Outgoing now, but fear doesn’t define who I am anymore. God taught me that my shyness was rooted in a lack of trust in Him. I was afraid, plain and simple. I was afraid that I would say something stupid, afraid that people wouldn’t like me, and deep down, afraid that I wasn’t worth liking. This is where God has changed my heart the most. I found worth in Christ, and his perfect love cast out my fear. And consequently, He has impressed upon me the importance of speaking truth, being friendly, and communicating love and worth out loud. 

Maybe you struggle with fear like me, and it’s hard to get those kind words unstuck from your throat. Keep trying! When kind words come to mind, SAY them. Don’t even think about it. Don’t talk yourself out of it. Just blurt them out! This is one instance when you won’t regret it.

Maybe you just take a more lackadaisical approach to life, and you don’t give the power of words too much thought. Well, here’s your sign! Life is short, and we need to take advantage of our opportunities to make a meaningful difference in someone’s life. 

Maybe you don’t think about speaking encouragement because you’re too busy focusing on the negative. Perhaps the reason for this is bitterness, and I can tell you from experience that it gives freedom in every area of life to put that toxic junk behind you. There is much to be thankful for, so start looking for the positive!!

In truth, nearly all of us could stand to look for the positives in people that we’re not so crazy about more often.  Even the people we butt heads with the most have value. We need to look at them through God’s eyes to appreciate their worth in the same way that He does. 

Philippians 4:8 can be a great help to us in this area. “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” Sometimes we have to let God retrain our brains to keep these things at the forefront of our mind.

All of this is not to say that we should only speak praise or fluff to the world. The truth does not always come in the form of praise and is rarely fluffy. Sometimes the kindest thing you can say to someone might be to gently point out an area of weakness. The wounds of a friend are faithful, because often we’re blind to our own faults. But we ALL need to hear what we’re doing right just as much (and usually more than) what we’re doing wrong. Even these instances of faithful wounding are best when accompanied by truthful praise and encouragement. (And a related and important side note is that our heart attitude defines the boundary between flattery and exhortation.)

One last point that’s too important to leave out- Scripture is often the most powerful encourager of all. I can’t even begin to count the times that the truths therein have provided a balm for my wounds, given me the strength I needed to carry on, or provided hope for this often seemingly meaningless life.  So read it!! Let it speak life to your soul, and use it to speak life to others.

Hebrews 10:24-25 “and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.”

Below is a powerful music video to sum up everything I just said. It's worth your time to watch.

We can turn a heart with the words we say.
Mountains crumble with every syllable.
Hope can live or die

 

Speak life!!!