Peace on Earth

"Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me."

The notion of peace is widely celebrated, even glorified, especially at Christmas time. But what does peace really look like? If there were never another war fought or even a shot fired, would we finally have achieved this lofty ideal? I doubt it. I believe peace is something even greater- that this is yet one more example of a time when man looks on the outward appearance, while God looks at the heart.

Speaking of hearts, mine is broken right now. Some dear, dear friends of mine suffered a tremendous loss this past week. They were anticipating the birth of their first son some time during the next couple weeks. Plans had all been made, gifts had all been opened, and all that remained was his blessed arrival. His arrival came and went, but most would question if the blessing did. Friends who shared in the excitement and anticipation of new life now share in the deep and painful mourning of a precious life lost. We ache and weep and long for what will never be.

And while we all share in grief, we each respond in a different way.  Some despair at the pain of this life. Some shake their fists in defiance at God. Some fear that God has punished them, and that their turn is next. Some wonder if there is any reason to pray. Some question in brokenness all they ever knew about the goodness of a so-called loving God. And some have sweet, blessed peace. My friends testify to having this peace, the peace that passes all understanding.

Have you ever heard that phrase before and responded like I have? "Well, isn't that a nice Jesus answer," accompanied by a knowing smirk. I remember actually being angry at a pastor who shared that he didn't question God when his teenage son fell ill and died. Didn't he love his son? Didn't he even care enough to put up a fight? Questions that revealed my limited understanding of who God is, and what our purpose is in relation to Him. I had a very conservative upbringing, where I constantly heard people repeating pat answers in the face of adversity.

"The Lord works in mysterious ways."

"We just need to trust the Lord."

And my personal favorite, "The Lord works everything together for our good."

 Those statements are all true, but they are not enough. They can be repeated without a second thought, with no depth, with no acknowledgement of pain, and no praise for the God who inexplicably and omnipotently really does keep a whole multitude of promises for our good. It's no wonder people think us naïve.

I know people who say these things are well-meaning, and I do think we should extend them grace. The same goes for those who are struggling with anger and skepticism. I have no judgment for them- I struggled with those attitudes for years. I can still relate to Paul when he refers to himself as the chief of sinners. I know what I am capable of in the way of sin, but I also know what I am capable of in the way of victory!

It just so happens this is not the first time someone close to me has delivered a lifeless child. My sister lost her baby girl almost four years ago. That time we all knew she might not make it, but we prayed hard, and I believed God would heal her. He didn't. Not here anyway. I'd had it with God and His plans. "Now You tell me what the purpose of that was, GOD!! It would have taken one second- no effort- for you to heal that baby! The one that You formed, on purpose, with all those problems! This is what fearfully and wonderfully made looks like? This is what goodness looks like? I'm done with You."

My sister chose to have a memorial service for her little one. Naturally the pastor only said nice things about God, and there was a song about God's love. How nice. And then in a moment, everything changed. I felt a shame such as I had never known when I glanced over to see my sister, tears flowing down her face, mouthing along with the words, "He loves us. Oh, how He loves us." Why was I the angry one? How could I maintain my skepticism when I was face to face with the peace that I had so vehemently denied? The very Spirit of God was flooding her soul, and mine as well.

God opened my eyes that day to what true peace entails. It is a matter of the heart. There was no attempted cover-up of the pain or mourning in either of those situations. It was acknowledged and faced head on. Oh, there was pain, and it remains, but there is peace alongside it. Darkness cannot overcome the light. Christ is, and ever will remain, victorious. And He is Emmanuel- God with us! There is of course comfort in knowing that these parents will someday meet their children, but there is even more than that. There is peace now, amidst the sorrow, because the Spirit of God dwells in the hearts of these dear friends. He quiets our racing thoughts, calms our fears, draws us close, and overwhelms us with an inexplicable peace. He is here, and He is hope.

"The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17

And He has. So the next time I hear someone speak of peace in their hearts, I won't be skeptical. Oh, there will always be those who say it and don't believe it. There will even be times (often be times) when I don't feel it myself. But that doesn't change the reality that a loving God can truly bring a tangible, unfathomable peace to our souls.

I wish I hadn't wasted so many years of my life not accepting the fact that peace can be real. It saddens me that some still don't.

Isaiah 53:5 says that "He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; upon Him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and by His wounds we are healed." Christ endured those agonies not just for our salvation. Of course salvation is a wonderful thing, but it often feels like a distant promise. Peace and healing, these things are given to us now, and not a peace that the world offers. (John 14:27)

My friends chose songs of praise for their sweet baby's memorial service as well. The image of a broken father singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness" with hands raised, sobs racking his body, will forever be etched in my mind. My prayer is that someone else witnessed it and had their heart changed like mine. Peace through the darkness, the tragedy, and the chaos of our everyday toils. It is attainable through surrender to the One who offers it freely.

John 16:33 "I have said these things to you that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."