On Philip Seymour Hoffman and addiction

The world lost a brilliant actor yesterday morning. Philip Seymour Hoffman may not have had an abundance of leading film roles, and you may not even recognize his name, but it is widely agreed that he was incredibly talented. (Film biography here if you’re not sure who I’m referring to: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000450/?ref_=nv_sr_3)

 In search of more details this morning, I came across a CNN article about Hoffman’s death. Such a tragedy. But leave it to the internet masses to immediately ruin my contemplative mood after reading a moving article. A great number of readers made comments consisting of sweeping judgments about the character and/or worth of a complete stranger.

For anyone who hasn’t heard, Hoffman was found dead in his underwear on the bathroom floor of his apartment, a syringe in his arm and numerous envelopes of heroin scattered throughout his home. It breaks my heart to think about the pain he must have been suffering to make him feel like he needed to cope in this way. Almost as heart-breaking are the various accusations about how foolish he was to use heroin, how selfish he was to do this to his family, or how irresponsible he was to not get help for his addiction. Angry rants from angry people.

Was he foolish to use heroin? Yes.

Was it selfish to leave his family this way? Yes.

Was he irresponsible to not get help for his addiction? Yes.

Does pointing these things out right now help Philip Seymour Hoffman, his family, and/or those struggling with drug addictions? Certainly not the former two, and from a complete stranger, probably not the latter. There is a time for public outcry of evil, but this is not it.

I’ve never heard a single person sing the praises of heroin users. A single sane person anyway. Nor have I heard a single person claim that drug addiction was unselfish or a responsible behavior.

So I pose the question…. Why try to make those points at all? Really, truly, genuinely… W-h-y???

Do comments like this make us feel like we’re making a difference in the fight against drug addiction? Do we honestly think the general public disagrees with us on those points? Do they make us feel like we’re morally superior because we’ve never been users? Among the Christian sphere, do they make us feel like we’re spreading the Gospel by denouncing one particular sin?

I really don’t know. And I would be guilty of the same heart judgments that I’m decrying if I assumed these things. So I’ll just let those making the harsh accusations search out their motivations for themselves.

And in the meantime, I pray that this tragedy will move the rest of us to compassion. There’s never been a question as to whether or not there are hurting people in the world. Or whether or not someone close to us is struggling with addictions, be they easily condemnable or socially acceptable. (There are more addicts around us than we’d care to admit.) So let’s not just sit around pointing fingers and making internet posts. (Said pointing a finger at myself.) Let’s get our hands dirty and help.

It’s hard, SO very hard to ask for help when we’re struggling. Drug addiction or not, we’re all battling something. A fact we often fail to take into account before we open our mouth to denounce the shortcomings of those around us. Jesus himself told an angry mob that whoever was without sin should be the first to cast a stone.

When someone we love is struggling, of course it is our responsibility to lovingly speak truth to them. But let’s be bold enough to approach someone personally, not just publicly denounce a wide-ranging problem. Let’s be brutally honest, but also kind. The truth will hurt enough on its own. And let’s be the kind of friends who stay around to help through the long haul. Maybe even for a lifetime.

I’ve heard incredible stories of individuals who have overcome addictions, but I can’t recall any that didn’t involve another character in the story who was holding that individual accountable. Someone who opened both their eyes and their heart to them. Someone who took the time to get involved in their life. Someone who was willing to ask awkward questions. Someone who endured through the ups and downs. Someone who supported rather than condemned. Someone who took the time to be a part of the solution to the problem rather than just point out the obvious reality of the problem. Someone who stopped yelling insults from the sidelines and got involved in the game.

That is how we fight to keep more tragic stories from being told.

(Clearly this is not a definitive list of how to help someone break free from addictions as serious as Hoffman’s, but I think it’s a good place to start.)