A Christian for Tolerance (Why Matt Walsh is Wrong Again)

In truth, I had already been mulling over the idea of writing a post about how I was for tolerance before Matt Walsh wrote this: http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/04/07/jesus-didnt-care-about-being-nice-or-tolerant-and-neither-should-you/. But I guess you could say his post was the catalyst for turning my thoughts into words.

Most people who spread the idea that Jesus was not a nice guy use the rousing accounts of Jesus overthrowing tables in the temple. Jesus gets angry at how his Father's house is being used as a moneymaker rather than a place of reverent worship. God is holy. We see it time and time again in Scripture, and it's a truth that we dismiss far too hurriedly. His temple was a place to worship God, and his anger was a result of these men making a mockery of his holiness.

(Notice that he never went to the bars and started turning the tables over there. He did not go to the brothels and start flipping over the beds. He didn't even go to the tax collectors and dump out their stolen wages.)

There are also instances recorded in which Jesus called people names. Among other things, he referred to the Pharisees and scribes as a brood of vipers, fools, hypocrites, and whitewashed tombs. He spoke fiercely, and He didn't mince words. But there is a crucial, crucial point here that most people skip right over. Jesus is talking to the CHURCH leaders here. He is speaking to those who already claimed to be following God. Those who, more than anyone else, should have been leading others in the way of truth. It's typically dangerous to make sweeping generalizations, and especially when it comes to the Bible. Name-calling and severity was absolutely not part of Jesus' typical routine.

For example, here are some things that Jesus did not say:

To the woman at the well: "You whore. I can hardly stand to be around you. It's no wonder that you come here to the well alone. No doubt you've got herpes or something. You should probably stop sleeping with every man who will take you."

To the demon-possessed man: "Look what you've done. You cut yourself with stones and run around in a graveyard? Craaaaazy. You opened yourself up to this, and now you're going to have to deal with the consequences. Good luck getting those demons out, sucka!" 

To the disciples: "Everybody get your whips and come with me. We're gonna drive out those heathens from the temple. And when we're done with that, we're gonna go call the prostitutes names! And when anyone insults what God says, we're gonna argue with them to the death!"

Anyone can say that Jesus was not nice, but a glance through the Scripture will reveal otherwise. He was kind and compassionate, a friend of sinners. He spoke to them truthfully, boldly, and kindly. It is possible to be kind and truthful at the same time, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Jesus told sinners, with the exception of those in the church, to turn away from their sin WITHOUT calling them names. 

It was the self-righteous hypocrites, the church leaders who were responsible for teaching others what God had to say- it was this group that the harsh words were reserved for. It was not the "nice" crowd, or the "worst" sinners, or those who were not religious. Time and time again in Scripture, we see God rebuking his own people and the church. It is we who are called to a higher standard. He proclaimed truth to sinners, and we are to do so boldly yet humbly as well. 

That is why when I use the word tolerance, I don't mean that I accept sin. If the definition of tolerance is that we'll all be ok if we do whatever we want, then I retract my previous statement- I am not this kind of tolerant. What I mean is that I don't reject and despise people who are sinners. I don't call them names, consider myself superior to them, or think of their salvation as a conquest. I mean that I recognize that my battle is not against flesh and blood, but rather against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. It means that I try to see people as God sees them, and not as people to defeat with witty proclamations. It means that I recognize in humility that, but for the grace of God, my way of thinking would be just as muddled. It does not mean that I sugarcoat the truth. I can boldly speak truth and still be friends with someone who disagrees with me. Jesus did. 

In fact, here are some things that He did say:

To the woman at the well: "Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked Him and He would have given you living water...The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true...I, the one speaking to you, I am [the Messiah]." John 4

To the demon possessed man (after casting out the demons): "Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He had compassion on you." Mark 5:19

To the disciples and the multitudes: "But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also... But I say to You, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you...Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the law and the prophets." Matt. 5:39,44, 7:12

Jesus doesn't sound quite like the rabble-rouser He's been made out to be. A couple incidents of cleansing the temple makes this behavior the rare exception, not the rule. He was quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to wrath.

John 3:17 is another helpful verse. "For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." I don't include this to imply that the whole world will be saved, that Jesus danced around the truth, or that God does not judge sin. (Just check the rest of Scripture and this post.) The point is that Christ's goal on earth was not condemnation, and neither should ours be. See, Jesus didn't view his time here on earth as an opportunity to win some arguments. (Though He did win them, since those Pharisees just wouldn't give up trying to trap Him.) He could have righted every wrong, made every person He came in contact with look like a fool, forced them all to grovel at his feet, overthrown the government, the list goes on and on. He did not do that because He came to give his life as a ransom for many. He came to serve. He told us that the greatest in the kingdom of heaven would be the one who was the servant of all, not the winner of the most arguments. 

Why are we even having this conversation? Because of the culture we live in. Tolerance is just a buzz word. It's not important whether or not we agree on what that word means. What is important is to decide as Christians how we are going to engage a culture that persecutes our beliefs.

Peter fought back. He was ready to defend his Savior with any means he had. He swung his sword with boldness! And what did Jesus tell him to do? To put away the sword. And Jesus proceeded to heal the wound that Peter had so foolishly inflicted. Hateful words can do just as much damage as weapons.

This is why it should be the TRUTH that offends, never us! Never our cruelty, hatred, or bitterness! We are asked to love, and people will hate us because of it. Jesus even told us that the truth would act as (ironically enough) a sword. It will divide even friends and family, because truth is divisive. When we call names or we’re rude, then people have a legitimate reason to hate us. But it is the exclusivity of the Gospel and the fault it reveals in us that will make our enemies- we need not help them along.

When it comes to getting all fired up and motivating people to fight, take a moment to consider the idea of “outrage porn.” (http://www.challies.com/articles/outrage-porn-and-the-christian-reader) Here is a little snippet. “When we respond with outrage to every little offense, eventually we become hardened to the things that actually matter. If everything is outrageous, nothing is outrageous.” He makes fantastic points, including the fact that we often delude ourselves into thinking that getting all fired up about something is the equivalent of actually doing something to right the wrong we’re claiming to feel so strongly about. The outrage itself doesn’t count for anything in the long run.

 

Consider another example (similar to one from a blog that I sadly can’t credit because I don’t remember what it was.) Here is a picture of a home that was set on fire by a group of gay rights activists. The homeowner simply made the mistake of putting the well-known "one man + one woman" bumper sticker on their car.  And so, rather than demonstrating the tolerance they so loudly proclaim, this group set the man’s home on fire.

 Fortunately, no one was hurt, but the house was almost completely destroyed, along with everything in it. All because this man stood up for what he believed in. It angers me that people could do something so hateful! All of their pictures, clothes, keepsakes, gone- just like that!

Did it anger you, too? Can you believe that didn't get any media attention? How can these people who proclaim tolerance for all do such a hateful thing, and how can people just ignore that?!

I hope it angered you for the sake of my point, but you should know that I just made up that story. Didn't happen. This was a picture I found on the old interweb. No idea what the story actually is behind this fire, but it wasn't the one I just told. Doesn’t quite “incite” the same emotions, right? 

We have got to recognize the tendency within ourselves to seek out this kind of finger-pointing, anger-rousing behavior. I think we often forget that when Jesus denounced sin and spoke these brutally honest words, He was talking to us. He was speaking to you. He was speaking to me. The responsibility of myself as a Christian is to first ask God to search my own heart, long and hard and honestly, and only then to concern myself with the faults of those around me. I take out my beam, and then I can see clearly to begin working on the splinters of others. 

 The problem is not always with someone else. 

As a general rule, the world knows what we are against. People like Walsh are very clear about that. The Bible preaches against homosexuality, gossip, adultery, etc. (Notice I wasn’t afraid to include homosexuality in that list as a tolerant Christian. I've just alienated some people, and that's ok.) But people also need to know what we’re FOR. What are we for? 

Well, what is God for? When He lives in us, what is the result?

Love. 

Joy.

Peace.

Patience.

Kindness.

Goodness.

Gentleness.

Faithfulness.

Self-control.

No small things. That is what I want my life to embody. Not sensationalism. Not rudeness. Not harshness. Not self-righteousness. Not arrogance. If this is how the Spirit of God acts in me, then I have a hard time believing that Christ came to earth and exemplified the opposite. 

We're asked to speak truth with love, and that's what I plan to do. I don't want to be a clanging cymbal, and that's what we become when we let our emotions get in the way of the Spirit. So by all means, STAND for truth. Don't back down, and do it with the help of God in you. Show the world that God takes all that we proclaim as bad and replaces it with good. He loved us first, so that we could love.  

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters." I John 3:16

 

 

 

Be the next superhero

This morning I was thinking about a generous compliment that was paid to me a few weeks ago. Kind words have a way of sticking with you like that. Unfortunately, so do harsh ones. We could probably all think of an example of each. And we can probably even recall the joy or pain of the moment.

As someone who enjoys writing, I spend a good deal of time thinking about the impact of words. They don’t seem so powerful all on their lonesome. Split apart a meaningful sentence into individual words, and they don’t quite have the same effect. Even if you consider a single word that might sound powerful, the power it wields is to bring to mind other words or images. 

Take the word “powerful” itself. The image of a bodybuilder immediately pops into my mind. Then a waterfall. Then God. (Ummm, not sure what’s up with that order…) Similar words also come to mind, like omnipotent, dominating, supreme, and muscular. The reason “powerful” sounds powerful is because of what it evokes in us.

Please don’t get bored and stop reading- I promise I’m making a point here. And that point is…

Our words have the power to influence the way another person thinks or ultimately acts. Everything we say has the potential to wound or heal, confuse or clarify, hurt or help. We need to think about how we’re wielding our power.

That doesn’t mean we all need to write or speak eloquently. It doesn’t require a good deal of talent to speak life-giving words to someone. For example, “I really appreciate you picking up those toys off the floor without me asking.” Or on a deeper level, “Thank you so much for the gift. It made me feel loved.” Or on an even deeper level still, “Your constant sacrifices for our family are noticed. We love and appreciate you. Thank you for leading by example.” Simple words to make an eternal impact.

This blog I’m writing is a prime example of how a few straightforward compliments like this can influence a life. In the span of a few months, several people who hold a special place in my heart told me they enjoyed my writing. One friend in particular has provided consistent encouragement in my journalistic endeavors. And many of you readers out there have given positive feedback as well, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you!! I don’t bring this up to pat myself on the back. This blog is nothing special. My point is that these life-giving words gave me the courage to try (and persevere in) something new- something I never knew that I might be good at. 

The note you see here on the left is another great example of a simple phrase that can change someone’s life. This is a note that I put in my daughter’s lunchbox last week. The letters in blue were written by me- three simple words, but they affirm self-worth in a way that few other words can. I love this girl without condition, and I want her to always remember that. 

I meant for this to be a blessing to her, but I had no idea that she would return that blessing to me. I found her response (written in pencil) when I opened her lunchbox to pack it the next morning. (Don’t judge her spelling- she’s only six!) I clipped it on our fridge, right above a picture she drew of us holding hands, so I can continue to be affirmed by her response. She loves me!

And may I just interject here that my eight-year-old son has yet to ever do anything like this. I’m not going to get my hopes up either, because that’s just not his personality. He demonstrates his love more freely in other ways, and it’s going to take a lot of maturing for him to be able to express himself with words. (I pity his future wife already!) 

And just like my kids are different, God made us all with different personalities. Everyone knows someone who verbalizes everything they think, exactly at the moment they think it. And we also know people we seem to have to drag every syllable from. No matter the personality, we all have the power to speak life!

 There were times during my middle/high school years when I exhibited some extreme shyness. I would get embarrassed when people spoke to me, sometimes so much so that I would duck my head, mumble a response, and hope they would go away. (Awwwwkward.) God has truly changed who I am in that respect. That’s not to say that I’m Miss Outgoing now, but fear doesn’t define who I am anymore. God taught me that my shyness was rooted in a lack of trust in Him. I was afraid, plain and simple. I was afraid that I would say something stupid, afraid that people wouldn’t like me, and deep down, afraid that I wasn’t worth liking. This is where God has changed my heart the most. I found worth in Christ, and his perfect love cast out my fear. And consequently, He has impressed upon me the importance of speaking truth, being friendly, and communicating love and worth out loud. 

Maybe you struggle with fear like me, and it’s hard to get those kind words unstuck from your throat. Keep trying! When kind words come to mind, SAY them. Don’t even think about it. Don’t talk yourself out of it. Just blurt them out! This is one instance when you won’t regret it.

Maybe you just take a more lackadaisical approach to life, and you don’t give the power of words too much thought. Well, here’s your sign! Life is short, and we need to take advantage of our opportunities to make a meaningful difference in someone’s life. 

Maybe you don’t think about speaking encouragement because you’re too busy focusing on the negative. Perhaps the reason for this is bitterness, and I can tell you from experience that it gives freedom in every area of life to put that toxic junk behind you. There is much to be thankful for, so start looking for the positive!!

In truth, nearly all of us could stand to look for the positives in people that we’re not so crazy about more often.  Even the people we butt heads with the most have value. We need to look at them through God’s eyes to appreciate their worth in the same way that He does. 

Philippians 4:8 can be a great help to us in this area. “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” Sometimes we have to let God retrain our brains to keep these things at the forefront of our mind.

All of this is not to say that we should only speak praise or fluff to the world. The truth does not always come in the form of praise and is rarely fluffy. Sometimes the kindest thing you can say to someone might be to gently point out an area of weakness. The wounds of a friend are faithful, because often we’re blind to our own faults. But we ALL need to hear what we’re doing right just as much (and usually more than) what we’re doing wrong. Even these instances of faithful wounding are best when accompanied by truthful praise and encouragement. (And a related and important side note is that our heart attitude defines the boundary between flattery and exhortation.)

One last point that’s too important to leave out- Scripture is often the most powerful encourager of all. I can’t even begin to count the times that the truths therein have provided a balm for my wounds, given me the strength I needed to carry on, or provided hope for this often seemingly meaningless life.  So read it!! Let it speak life to your soul, and use it to speak life to others.

Hebrews 10:24-25 “and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.”

Below is a powerful music video to sum up everything I just said. It's worth your time to watch.

We can turn a heart with the words we say.
Mountains crumble with every syllable.
Hope can live or die

 

Speak life!!!

From a tomboy like Sunnie

I can't stop thinking about the Sunnie Kahle story. One reason for this is that she and I have some major similarities, including our tomboyish tendencies and the fact that we both attended a private Christian school.

Unlike Sunnie, however, I did not attend Timberlake Christian School.

To the left is a picture of me in the eighth grade. Notice the short hair and baggy clothes. I HATED dressing like a girl. To this day, I only own two dresses, and those were given to me as gifts. If you see me wearing one of them, either my sisters wanted to match (quaint, right?) or all my other clothes were probably dirty. I do not like to be in a dress. I don’t even like to be in “girly” shirts. Give me a baggy t-shirt any day. Cold season is wrapping up, and there is only one reason that makes me sad. No more hoodies for a while. Sigh.

 My Christian school never cared much about the way that I wore my hair, or the way that I dressed, so I never thought much about it. My church family didn't care either. They recognized that God cares about our hearts over our physical appearance.

Here is another picture of me that is also from the eighth grade. I’m on the left, if that wasn’t obvious. I’m trying (and failing) to look cool and tough in my soccer uniform. I loved to play sports. I played soccer, basketball, and softball. Not very well, mind you, but they were still fun.

I also enjoyed playing outside. I loved our tree house and exploring the woods and riding my bike. I liked to catch bugs and climb trees and wrestle. I was a tomboy. I was (and still am) proud to be a tomboy, because that's who God made me to be.

I have only worn makeup (aside from the occasional zit cover-up) approximately five times in my life. I still prefer super short hair, but I'm too cheap to keep paying for haircuts, so I let it grow to my shoulders before hacking it all off again. I bite my nails, enjoy playing rough with my kids, dread weddings because I’ll have to dress up, and overall just don’t enjoy stereotypically girly things. I’ve never been especially “feminine,” so in this regard I’m very much like Sunnie Kahle.

I have such fond memories of the schools and church that I attended. Not perfect ones, but much more good than bad. I was taught that God loves us all unconditionally, and that we should love others unconditionally in return. 

The picture at the right is from a missions trip with that church. My youth group went to the island of St. Vincent- my first overseas trip. Take note of my Nike t-shirt and tennis shoes. That’s how I rolled, and that was ok with them.

 Below is another shot from several years later. This was from our youth group trip to Mexico. I’m in the front with short hair again and a men’s bowling shirt.

Yep, a "men's" haircut and shirt. I'm so thankful for a church and schools that let me be who I was without criticism. Sure I got into trouble for breaking some rules like any other kid. I even got sent to the office once or twice, but never for my appearance.

Why am I telling you all this? Because the name of my church was Timberlake Baptist- the church affiliated with the now infamous Timberlake Christian School. The church filled with many of the same people who are in charge of TCS today. If you liked what I had to say about them in the past, then it might be helpful to know it's still that way in the present. Timberlake is the place where I felt accepted just as I was.

I’m not going to pretend like my situation is exactly the same as Sunnie’s. It’s not, and I don't know what she's been through. I can't speak to the truth of either side in this situation, simply because I wasn't witness to it. Very few of us were.

There's just SO much negativity floating around, that I wanted to point out some positives. The Timberlake I know is not perfect, and I don't mean it to sound that way. It has flaws, because Timberlake consists of people. Real people, who aren't the hateful bigots they've been characterized as. They make mistakes, and I'm sure they do judge at times. I know I do (unfortunately). And the general public certainly does, as evidenced by their comments on this news story. We're people. We make mistakes. But we are also capable of great things! 

The people from Timberlake Baptist loved me, and they helped me grow into the woman I am today. I will be forever grateful for the impact they have had on my life. And while I may not have attended the school myself, my children do now. I know and love the people at TCS. They have invested in both me and my children's lives. They loved (and love) my tomboy self, and they've loved numerous other tomboys as well. 

As a matter of fact, they still love Sunnie, and I know Sunnie loves them, too.

This morning I met with a couple other TCS moms to pray over this whole kerfuffle. We prayed for the school, the administration, and our kids- for wisdom, strength, and love- and for Sunnie and her family as well. Because really, we could all use a little less arguing, and a lot more prayer.